It’s just gone 3am. I’m lying in bed, emailing myself this post because there’s not much else to do. Yes, I should be asleep. I’d love to be asleep actually. My body is crying out for sleep. But there’s a problem – a Tink-sized problem – and she’s in my bed. Eating cereal. Playing on her tablet. Wide. Awake. Again.


She’s been awake for over 2 hours. When she got up and went downstairs (“turn the light on, it’s too dark, turn the light on!!” And repeat) she¬†woke up poor Daddy, who had fallen asleep on the sofa – (again, because why bother coming to bed when the night will be disturbed again and he has to be up at 4.30am for work?)

I managed to get her back upstairs, but not without lots of loud crying and shouting (sorry, neighbours). She then spent the next two hours intermittently crying and whining to get up. She’d moan, I’d placate, she’d go quiet, I’d start to drop back off to sleep… Then the cycle would repeat, only my placating becomes more grumpy and snappy. Ugh.

Eventually, I couldn’t take any more and struck a deal – I’d go and fetch her milk and cereal and tablet (because that’s what happens at breakfast time) if she stayed in my bed. “Okay,” she agreed, somewhat reluctantly.

So, here we are, somewhere between night and morning, breakfast eaten, and she’s giggling away at the game she’s playing on her tablet. Hopefully she’ll go back to sleep in a while. Whether I will or not remains to be seen. I know that I will feel too exhausted to do much with the children in the day now. It’s half-term here and H was so bored yesterday that I promised myself we’d go out and do something today. That in itself isn’t that easy on a good day, let alone a day after about an hour and a half sleep. I will be grumpy; I try not to be, but I am just to tired. Im not sure how much more of this I can take. This is one reason I gave up work, but I think I’m more tired than ever. I ache. I have zero energy and enthusiasm on days like this, but I have to put on a brave face and try my hardest for the kids.

Tink will be fine. Even on minimal sleep she seems to keep bouncing. She might flag in the afternoon, she might not. I wish I had an ounce of her energy. But this is slowly killing me. I’m done.

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Another Bad Night… How Many More?
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