So, it’s the end of another year and I’m in a reflective mood. It’s been an up-and-down kind of year where Tink is concerned. She has grown and changed so much; she’s definitely a little girl now (or not so little – if I had a pound for every time someone mentioned how tall she is…!), rather than a preschooler, and her cheeky personality is shining through. Thanks to the wonder of Bing Bunny, her speech and language has come on in leaps and bounds and she is able to communicate with us and others much, much better. She is slowly beginning to manage dressing and undressing with a lot of help, and her number skills are getting pretty good. Oh, and she was in a fantastic book too!

However, her anxiety levels seem to have increased, particularly since starting back at nursery in September (rather than moving into Reception class with her friends) and we see this through her continued, constant need for a dummy, as well as the awful screaming and shouting we get if she’s not happy about something. She seems even more demand-avoidant and getting her to co-operate with anything that is not her choice is incredibly difficult. We have had no progress on her continence this year and she still withholds her poo which causes lots of discomfort for her and frustration for us. Her eating habits are becoming more awkward, with the range of foods she’ll eat reducing even further and some days all she will demand is chocolate in various forms, and the tantrums she has when we deny her are horrendous (takes after me, then!)!

We’ve had to make some big decisions with regards to Tink’s schooling this year; firstly, we decided that she wasn’t ready for Reception and more formal schooling, so we kept her in Nursery for another year. However, after chatting to her teacher a few weeks in, it became apparent that she wasn’t progressing as hoped, so we reluctantly began the search for a new school for her. After much consideration, we asked the Local Authority to consider our decision to place her in a special school for children with autism, and we are awaiting their decision….

tink 2016

So, 2017 is around the corner, and I hope to be sitting here in 12 months’ time, writing a similar post but with much more positivity! There are a few things I am aiming to do to help make that happen…

  1. Spend more quality time with Tink: at the moment, she doesn’t go to school all day, so we have some time together in the afternoons, although this will reduce gradually over the next month or so as her hours at nursery increase. I feel that I need to be more present when I am with her – me not on my laptop or phone, Tink not on her tablet, but both of us doing something more constructive. Time outdoors, time spent trying to play a game together, playing with her new toys or helping her to learn to ride her bike. Anything to connect us better!
  2. Work on her continence: this is going to be tricky for as long as she continues to not show awareness of bladder urges, but I have a couple of ideas to try so that she may begin to understand!
  3. Work on her co-operation, concentration and attention: I am hoping to plan a few minutes into each day where I will try to get Tink to do a short activity of my choosing (but of interest to her!) – something I should have been doing ages ago, but never seem to get around to doing.
  4. To give up the dummy – in the daytime at least!: This is going to be hard! She’s so bloody attached to it at the moment! But, thanks to some tips and advice from my lovely Facebook page readers, I’ve got some things to try.
  5. To settle her into a new school – hopefully!

I’ve a feeling 2017 is going to be an exciting year – hope you’ll join us?

 

Spectrum Sunday
Mummy Times Two
Comments
Goodbye 2016 – Here’s to a Happy New Year!

13 thoughts on “Goodbye 2016 – Here’s to a Happy New Year!

  • December 31, 2016 at 1:01 pm
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    Something that might help with the activity side – buy one of those wipeable table cloths or painting mats. If you have an activity at the table, pop it on there and do the activity regardless of what it is. Activity on the floor, put it down and sit on it and do activity. The mat becomes part of the routine and can often make it easier to understand and co-operate as when the mat comes out she knows what to expect – Mummy and Tink fun time 🙂
    Don’t worry about the continence, she will get there. Look at Eliza, 8 next year and only just gone in to undies! Suziebooks do a lovely book about toilet time. If Tink is as visual as Eliza, does she have a a fave teddy or dolly? Get dolly/teddy to sit on the potty. Keep the potty in front of you, teddy facing Tink. From up your sleeve or hidden in your hand squirt some water in the potty from a syringe. Show Tink that teddy did a wee wee and give teddy praise. Might work, might not but worth a try 🙂
    Happy New Year to you all. Can’t wait to meet you face to face one day next year xxx

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    • December 31, 2016 at 1:05 pm
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      Brilliant ideas – thanks so much! Happy New Year to you all in the Blooming Family! And yes, excited to get together soon! x

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  • December 31, 2016 at 3:38 pm
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    Keeping my fingers crossed for the right school outcome for you, and wishing you success with your goals in 2017! x

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  • January 9, 2017 at 12:53 am
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    I love your goals for 2017! Tink sounds simply amazing. As an adult “with” Asperger’s/autism, I can certainly relate; change can be upsetting, disrupting the stability accomplished through previous/current routine. She’ll establish new routines and as she does, she’ll probably settle in to them and it’s likely that she may calm down then. Quality time is very comforting and an awesome goal. I wish you all the best! Awesome post! 🙂

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  • January 9, 2017 at 5:14 pm
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    School decisions are so hard. We looked at so many for both the boys. I hope it works out. We only got rid of David’s near the end of last year – he’s nearly six now. Fingers crossed xxx . Thanks so much for linking to #SpectrumSunday

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    • January 9, 2017 at 6:06 pm
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      But you did get rid? That gives me hope! Ha! Thank you x

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  • January 13, 2017 at 9:15 pm
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    Sending so much love to you both. I remember Number One at that age so well. I don’t think there has ever been a time I have been so worried. When I look back now I wish I had worried less, life has over the years got immeasurably better. At Tink’s age, she hate pasta, mozerella (one brand only), pizza and fruit. That was it. Now she will literally eat anything. It didn’t happen overnight, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that in my experience life often gets worse before things start to get better. I often wonder if, had a special school been an option for us, Number One would have been happier in those early days. I suspect she might. Inclusion is fantastic if it works, but over the years the passionate inclusionist in me, has recognised that often more progress is made in special schools where teachers are experts and can provide the support children in mainstream often miss out on. I have a feeling this year is going to be Tink’s Year. Thank you so much for sharing this with us at #PostsFromTheHeart I will be following Tink’s story in the future x

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  • January 15, 2017 at 5:59 pm
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    I feel your frustration in this post, the frustration of a mum trying to do the best by their child and best laid plans not always working out.You have a beautiful style of writing and this is a very raw subject i can tell but you are also positive and hopeful. I hope that 2017 is a postitive year for you and Tink. Just remember you can only do , what you can do.Give yourself a break from time to time.Easier said than done 🙂 Thank you so much for linking up. I really have enjoyed this post. #PostsFromTheHeart

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    • January 15, 2017 at 6:24 pm
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      Thank you so much Becci, yes, I am feeling hopeful and positive! I’ll try to squeeze in some ‘me time’ when I can.

      Reply

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